Still No

As I lay here

body aching, bruises becoming discolored, bones healing

I look up and ask, “Is it time yet?”

Of course I hear no real answer,

but the answer begins to show itself clearly.

Still no.

“But why not?” I ask defiantly.

I’ve been through hell and back on a daily basis.

And now this.

And the answer is still the same?

Why can’t I have it, that, not even Him?

You brought me back for this?

For you to still give me the same answer

that you gave me before that night?

Why not just let what was suppose to happen happen?

Why bring me back miraculously, unharmed and unscathed?

All for you to say,

still no.

I don’t even know why I am mad.

I should be bouncing around with joy.

You brought me back from death, but

I still can’t help to wonder why.

And more importantly, why still no?

But I am not worthy enough to ask such questions.

You have the puzzle already figured out.

No need for me to squeeze in extra pieces.

I will just go and be grateful that I am able

to still embark on this journey.

And patiently wait for you to say yes.

2 thoughts on “Still No

  1. Tim says:

    Imma break this down real simple. God just did something miraculous. I saw the car anx that sign. U should have bee. Badly injured or dead.That my friend is a miracle. Its like, look at the whip and look at you. God needs to use you and your life as a living testimony to his grace and mercy. He may actually be testing u. and the other part. When you want something really bad this is what you do. Prepare for what u want. Sounds like its that someone special to walk through life with. Do research on what it takes to be a great wife. Study the same thing in the bible because there are passages that speak of just that. The more you prepare for that prayer to be answered God is making ready exactly what you need. Hold on homie, he knows. Patience is key


    • jclark13 says:

      Thanks Tim…I think this was just one of those days where everything kinda comes at you at once…I am definitely grateful for the miracle of coming out of that crash alive and uninjured. I also agree with the test part…I feel like I’ve been going through it over and over again and I know what I need to do. It’s just easier said than done sometimes.


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