This pic is truly a representation of how I feel after writing. It just takes all of the emotions out of me and leaves me happy but drained lol. Enjoy

Swollen Eyes and Empty Hearts

Here I am, again

Waking up to this familiar feeling.

This familiar face.

These swollen eyes and this empty heart.

You         Had          Me         Open.

So wide, for the very first time.

I felt like a stranger inside of my own head.

Allowing myself to be free and happy

but then it all just fell apart.

No alerts….no warnings.

But this is me so what else should there be

besides

these swollen eyes and this empty heart.

Years go by and you still have not called.

.

He waits around so patient, with so much hope.

Waits for you to cash in on the

million promises that you have made.

He stills holds on to those empty words

the ones that you left him here with.

“Son, I love you.” “Son, I’ll come for you.”

Bullshit that he is slowly beginning to uncover.

No longer will he be so naïve as he sees the days

turn into weeks.

The excuses begin to float from one ear and out the next.

His swollen eyes can easily be repaired,

but that empty heart, for you, will forever be there.

.

Trying to ignore the several times

that I’ve been here.

Trying to ignore the inevitability of me always

being here.

Trying to remember a time when I was

not here.

In this moment…

This fucked up moment.

Where swollen eyes and empty hearts

take precedent.

Where darkness is so mundane.

Where any shimmer of sunlight is hunted down

and destroyed immediately.

Where all hope for anything different

will disappear.

Where our want for anything different

will no longer matter.

Where swollen eyes begin to dry out.

Where this empty heart will just be a

concrete shell.

So loving, so beautiful, so soft

these will be adjectives of the past.

So dark, so unforgiving, such malice

these will be the descriptive words that

overtake these swollen eyes and this empty heart.