So there was a clip floating around on Twitter where a woman said that she could be dying on the side of the road and she would still not ask her child’s father for help. The men in the clip thought she was outrageous and couldn’t believe she was saying this. But after thinking about it…I understood completely where she was coming from.
Before I even start…I don’t think people realize how shitty others are. There are “parents” out there who will belittle and degrade the active parent for absolutely no reason. It’s like their main goal is to make the other parents’ life a living hell. They have no intention in helping to solve the problem. They just want to cause chaos.
Some times it is much easier to deal with the stress of trying to figure it out on your own vs asking THAT specific person for help. Imagine asking for help and the energy you get back is more debilitating and draining. Imagine asking for help and you are met with anger, intrusive questioning, gaslighting…and you still don’t get the help you need! Who would want to put themselves through that? Let me give an example.
I remember having a discussion about needing financial help for my daughter’s daycare with the person she shares a last name with. I told him the amount and he automatically accused me of lying. He told me to keep her at home or find someone else for a few weeks. I explained to him that I would still have to pay for daycare regardless if she went that week or not. Again…was accused of lying which proceeded to an unnecessary, energy draining argument. I vowed then to never ask for anything again.
For me, I would rather strip on the side of the road before I ever ask him for help because I know what’s going to come from it. I’m going to walk away empty handed with more anger and less energy to come up with a solution. Is it fair that he doesn’t get to share the burden because he’s a dick…of course not. But everyone has to choose their battles. As someone who deals with her own mental issues, these kinds of interactions tend to send me spiraling into a place that is hard to come out of for days or even weeks. It’s not fair to my kids or myself and we end up suffering even more. For the sake of my peace and sanity…I choose to not even take the chance of being placed there.
Some would say that you have to put your pride aside and do what’s right for the child. And I completely agree. Would I ask for help if we were on the verge of homelessness…yes. But I would have exhausted every other resource before going to him. Probably would start a GoFundMe first and then see what happens 😂.
Now…this is what works for me…but everyone isn’t me…so do what works for you! You have to deal with your situation and those energies. If you can handle it…then do what needs to be done. But if you know that’s a breaking point for you…just stop. You control the narrative of your life at the end of the day.
Here’s the full episode if you want to watch. And no…I didn’t…but y’all know I don’t have the attention span like that so 🤷🏾♀️😂. Enjoy and feel free to leave thoughts and comments. I know this is always a hot topic with so many different opinions…so be respectful or get cussed out 😘.