So there is a list that Huffington Post published that stated the top 11 things that men do that women find attractive. They included hugging from behind, being kind to strangers, concentrating hard on something, etc. (Here’s the link on the full article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/27/the-11-most-attractive-things-men-do_n_4673122.html?utm_hp_ref=tw) One of my followers on Twitter, @kidnoble, decided to do a list of the reverse, what did women do (non sexual) that attracted men. I immediately told him he wouldn’t find any real responses because this is Twitter of course and yall know how that goes. But as I began to look at his retweets, I actually found some amazing answers out there. I decided to take a few that I saw that stood out to me and discuss them. Here is the actual full list by Kid Noble http://internalchroniclesofme.blogspot.com/2014/01/beneath-surface-11-things-women-do-that.html?spref=tw

1. A Woman With A Book in Her Hand

This was absolutely heavenly to me because as a writer I love to read. Even though I have fallen slightly off, I love to just sit in a quiet corner and delve into a good book. Just the thought of this simple enjoyment being an absolute turn on to my man is beyond amazing. I believe this is something that turns a man on because he sees that you are more. You are able to expound and open your mind to things that are less trivial. You aren’t wrapped up in the latest reality show or gossip column. You are able to have an imagination. You have a brain.

2. Sincerely Pray For You

I believe this is a good one as well. If you have a woman that is able to pray for you without hesitation then you definitely have a keeper. If you have a religious or spiritual relationship, this is something a man is looking for in a wife. He wants to know that she holds the same values as he does and that she is willing to help in his need for spiritual rebuilding. He sees that she is serious and that this is not just another relationship. She is actually going to the Lord and praying for him, trying to uplift him. This is something truly special.

3. Be A Good Parent

This really should be a no brainer. A man wants a woman who he believes he can procreate with and prosper. Whether you think it or not, your parenting skills are definitely a factor. Especially if he has a void in that area, i.e. his parents were not around and he still feels the affects. If he sees you being a great nurturer, this will turn him on because he knows that he does not have to worry about his own children that he has with you. He knows that they will be raised in a way that he approves of and he will look at you in a different light.

4. Shows Genuine Concern

A man likes to act super tough but in reality they want to be cared for just like a woman. They want you to be concerned in their aspects of life. Whether it is helping them with a resume because they are looking for a job, or discussing ways that they can communicate better with a family member, or even just rubbing their back when their favorite team has lost, men want to know you care. Now, there is a difference between nagging and caring. Nagging is being in their face all day, every day about nonsense. Caring is different. If you hear him saying that his feet are hurting more and more after work, go out and buy him some better shoes or even some of those gel insoles. It’s really that simple. Men want to know you care so that they will feel comfortable reciprocating the same feeling.

5. Being Independent

This is my all time favorite. Yes, men want to feel like they can take care of you, but no man wants to feel like they have to take care of you. A woman that is independent is a turn on because that man knows that you can hold your own. You don’t need him, but you want him. There is a difference. A man doesn’t want to feel like he has to hold everything down because you lack the capability. He wants someone who is equal and if something were to happen where he fell, she would be right there to pick up the pieces. She knows how to hold down a household. Once again, she doesn’t need him.

I will say that these men really opened my eyes and made me realize that there are still some real men out there. Real men who appreciate real things that women have to offer. Not just a cute face and a big ass, but actual attributes. Being smart, studying on the weekends, smiling, showing interest, these are things that real women do. Far too often do these qualities get overlooked because the media is shoving different qualities down our throats. I also found it refreshing to see black men actually praising black women. We don’t see that too often. We both, men and women, have to do better in this department. Men need to appreciate and praise us more openly, not just in the privacy of our own home, and women need to get back to these praise worthy qualities. We are more than just sexual creatures. We are more than just titties and ass and arguing and drama. We have to do more to perpetuate the opposite. Even when I thought about what some of these responses would’ve been I automatically thought of stereotypical responses. “I like that she cooks and shuts up when I talk” or “I like how she cleans”. It’s sad that I, as a woman, thought this is what men thought was attractive in the opposite sex. Seeing otherwise gives me hope that there is still room for change. Room for us to get back on the right path. It starts with us.