Tag: cheating

Why I Wish People Would Leave Karrueche Alone

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Okay, this is going to be quick. I really didn’t want to discuss yet another celeb drama story BUT after seeing the way people are dragging Karrueche, I had to say something. My biggest issue with this entire situation is why are people targeting Karrueche? What did she do wrong exactly? She loved and forgave a man(too many times, but that’s your opinion) and she was cheated on…how is this her fault? Yes, you can say she should have seen the signs and left a long time ago, but does that warrant the reaction that she’s getting? I mean there are jokes everywhere about her not being loyal and lying about leaving Chris. How in the hell does this mean she’s not loyal? When did loyal equate stupidity? She’s not loyal because “girl it’s just a baby, you can stay.” -_- Some times it takes you to get knocked on your ass multiple times before you finally move on. Why are we not congratulating her for coming to this realization and at least saying she’s leaving? Granted, she may stay, but why is that anyone’s business? Honestly, look at your own relationships and think of how many memes people could come up with to describe you. Now, I am not agreeing with Karrueche in any way. I don’t think she should’ve stayed for so long with Chris, but I can definitely put myself in her shoes. Emotional abuse is the worse and it is the hardest to leave because some don’t see it as real abuse. “He didn’t hit me so it’s not that bad.” If anything I feel bad for her. Can you imagine a man that you love so much, a man that you have taken back so many times, just goes and has a baby with someone you were cool with? His seed, his spawn, his flesh and blood…with another seemingly unimportant woman? This is hurtful.

Instead of degrading her, how about we turn it around on the bitch assness of Chris Brown? Why do we automatically jump on the woman? HE is the one who cheated! HE is the one who lied! HE is the one claiming he wanted something with Karrueche that he obviously knew he had with someone else! HE is the one who constantly runs around talking about how much he loves her, but does the complete opposite! So, how about we run to Twitter and cuss him out and call him un-loyal and make memes about him with his name mispronounced? No, we don’t do that because like always, the woman is wrong in every situation. “She’s so stupid for staying…that’s what she gets.” No, she believed and trusted a man she loved. Since when was that the wrong thing to do? How many times have you forgiven someone just to have them shit on you again? The only difference is you do it behind closed doors. I normally don’t come on the blog and discuss celebrity matters, but as I am maturing I am learning that people need to see these celebs as human beings. This young woman is hurting and how dare we judge her life? Once again, I don’t agree with many of her decisions BUT I will never judge someone for falling in love and giving someone a chance. Been there, done that. It’s hard to let go of that type of love and maybe this is just the thing she needs to get back on the right track. Either way…she has my support. Even though I’m still slick kinda mad about the Beyoncé/ Blue hair thing 🙂

Why Are Side Chicks The New Wave?

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Is it me or has the side chick seemingly become a normal thing now? Once a taboo subject, side chicks are now a part of everyday conversations. It seems like everyone has either had a side chick, has a side chick, or is a side chick. Why is that? I, personally, blame entertainment. From music to the media, side chicks are no longer that scandalous woman that everyone hates. She is actually becoming, dare I say it, a role model to a lot of women. I know that sounds crazy but really think about it. With shows like Scandal and Being Mary Jane, the side chick is seen as a powerful woman, not sure why they always have to be African American but that’s another post, who has her priorities straight. She is an independent woman who just happens to be madly in love with a married man. And what do we do? Instead of hating her we actually side with her. Come on, we all want Olivia and Fitz to be together, but the facts are he is a married man. Always was.

I believe this new wave of interest with side chicks is definitely because of the entertainment industry. People, unfortunately, like to imitate art. They see the woman being splurged on and having this secret, wild sex life and they want that. They think it’s okay because somehow society has accepted the side chick. They see that the relationship between the actual couple is shitty so they feel that the side chick is justified. In what world is cheating okay? When did it become acceptable to be a side chick? Are we, as women…wait let me say are yall, cause Im not with it, as women okay with just being the side chick? Are you okay with sharing someone else’s man? Being second even if he makes you feel like you are first? I’m starting to believe that society is delusional. You do understand that a side chick is just that right? Yes, these side chicks on tv seem to be living it up but that is not real life. In real life you are always going to be that back up chick that he goes to. The one he goes to for one thing and one thing only. How can that make you feel special?

And why are we glamorizing this? If I see one more tv show or hear one more song about a side chick I swear I’m going to lose it. I think the thing that kills me the most is that women are falling for that bs. If you listen to the song, “They Don’t Know,” by some loser, he is talking about his side chick that no one knows about. He describes her as being perfect and down because she doesn’t make a fuss about being on the side. She just complies. Hell, she doesn’t even like his Instagram pictures (line from the song)! The way he describes her reminds me of how guys describe a ride or die chick and females love those type of qualities. I can picture a girl now like, “Oh, yeah baby. I can be down like that. I won’t let anybody know. Even if we in the same room, I can keep cool. Cause I’m down like that and I know that’s how you like it.” Trust me. There are women who think like this. They are comfortable being the side chick because the man wants it. They aren’t thinking about their own feelings or wants. They are just settling because it’s the thing to do now.

I will never understand when and how side chicks became cool. Anyone who knows me or has read my posts knows that I don’t understand cheating. If you are that unhappy, then leave. If you find someone else that you are attracted to and want to take to that level, open your mouth and say something to your partner. Having a side chick is a sign of weakness to me. You are too weak to be open about your feelings with your partner. Or too weak to be able to commit to an actual relationship. As women, I would think we would have more respect for ourselves than to allow the whole side chick thing to actually happen. At the end of the day, it starts with us. These men aren’t holding guns to these women’s heads. They are willingly participating AND bragging about it. If we could put our foots down and say that we will not stand for certain things, they would stop instantly. Women have so much power and it sickens me to see us not use it. We, y’all, just sit back and go with the flow and let these men do any and every thing. The worst part is the women who actually stand for something get the short end of the stick because as soon as we say we aren’t down with something, a man will say “Well, I know a chick that will.” It’s sad and we have to do better. Side chicks are not trendy or cool. They are disrespectful and degrading. Stop calling shit gold and call it what it is.

Taking a Break: The New Way to Cheat and Get Away With It

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Okay, we all know about that dreaded time in a relationship when you just can’t stand the person that you are with. What used to be sweet and cute is now so annoying that you contemplate killing them in their sleep just to have a way out. You love them, but you just can’t stand them. You feel trapped and you are slowly losing yourself in the process. So, what do you do? You take a break. A break which means that you just need some time to yourself to get everything in order. Time to figure things out. “I still love you babe, but I just need some time to make sure this is right.” Now, during this time of immense self finding, when did it become the norm to somehow slip up and get someone pregnant? As we have seen recently from Dwyane Wade and Ludacris, this “break” is becoming a lot more serious then what it used to be. Normally, a break would last a few days in which you and your significant other would make up and be back on track. But now it seems that this “break” is giving men free realm to just do whatever and come back with washed hands. “Baby, you can’t get mad that’s she’s pregnant. We was on a break.” -_-

Now, let’s discuss what should happen whilst on said “break”. The “break” is basically the action before the break up. Instead of just calling it off, the two agree to take a “break” from one another to clear their heads. Maybe they have been spending too much time together or maybe they are feeling unappreciated and need time apart to regain that love. Whatever the need is most “breaks” take place so both parties can decide if they should continue in the relationship or not. Because you are suppose to be focusing on the relationship, most women believe that dating other people during this time is not acceptable. You should be home, in bed, jotting down pros and cons to the relationship, not out bumping and grinding with some hot tender. I mean really if that’s what you want to do then isn’t the whole idea of a “break” just preposterous. Why not just break up? This is why I have never, fully, understood the idea of a “break”. To me, it’s pretty much over if you have to go that route.

But let’s say you take the “break” and you figure out that you can’t be with anyone else but that woman. She is your sun and earth and moon and blah blah blah. You get back together and everything is perfect. Well, except the fact that 9 months later you receive a phone call from that hot tender you were in the club with and you hear a baby crying in the background. (Dramatic, I know. But hey this is my story lol). Now, you have to explain to your sun and earth that while on this “break”, when you were suppose to be doing some self evaluating, you were actually partaking in some risky behavior. While this may be one of men’s worst nightmares, technically it shouldn’t be because you always have that ace in the hole. That “but we were on a break” excuse. TECHNICALLY, she can’t really be mad at you because you guys were not together. TECHNICALLY, you’ve done nothing wrong and she has no right to leave you because it did not happen while you were together. Men know this and I feel like it is about to take on another life of its own. Men know that women are emotional creatures and think irrationally when it comes to love. They know that while the woman has every right to be upset that if he continues to drill it in her head that they were on a “break” she will eventually forgive him because those are the rules. It has happened to the best of us. But what I don’t like is how women just pacify the men when this takes place. It’s like they feel more empowered for sticking with a man who has done them wrong. That’s that Ride or Die syndrome. “My girl got my back regardless of what I do” and she is in the background bobbing her head while feeding his two kids. I’m just saying, some things are just too much.

I, personally, couldn’t just let someone off the hook for getting a woman pregnant while we were on a “break.” Seeing that the whole idea of a “break” is to get clarification on your relationship, I’m not really sure I want to continue being with someone who thought they could find this clarification in between another woman’s legs. And then to be so irresponsible as to get them pregnant. That just makes it worst. Seems to me that they were not thinking of you nor the relationship during this “break” so what is the point of staying with them? My biggest hope is that women stop settling for so damn little. If he can’t respect you enough while you are on a “break” then why would he respect you in a relationship? Being on a “break” does not curve your feelings towards that person. It doesn’t make the love stop just because you guys aren’t technically together. It’s the same thing for those who are in long term relationships but are not married. You still do the same thing that a wife does. Those acts don’t change once you get a ring. There is just a title that comes with it.

My advice to those out there is if you need a “break”, just break up. Or be prepared to take care of someone else’s baby because yall know this is a celebrity trend that is going to spread. “Aww, baby Dwyane did it and look at what Gabby did. She took him back with a smile. If they can make it work, I know we can.” -_-

Temptation

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Okay, let me first start by saying if you have not watched the Tyler Perry movie, “Temptation,” and you plan on seeing it, do not read this post. Now, for those who have seen it or don’t care, I had to write this after watching that movie. I was trying to wait since my site has been down and I have been rewriting my old posts, but I have to get this off my chest. This movie was not good in my opinion. The acting was fine, the storyline ehh, the ending abysmal. Let’s begin with the storyline. I can’t remember the characters names so we will use their real names. Jurnee and Lance have known each other since they were six years old and were crazy in love. They got married at 18 and had been together 7 years. Lance worked at a pharmacy and Jurnee worked at a matchmaker company. She meets Harvey(characters name) and they work on coming up with some dating program for his website. She starts to fall for him because he basically is showing her all the sexual attention that she does not get from Lance, who by the way is FINE!!!! Sorry. So she ends up having an affair with him while away on a business trip and when she comes back her Reverend mother can tell she’s different. Then she decides to stay with Harvey, uses drugs, he ends up beating her, Lance finds out from Brandy(who is running away from her crazy ex who happens to be Harvey) that Harvey has HIV, Lance rescues Jurnee, Lance kicks Harvey’s ass, Jurnee ends up with HIV and alone, and Lance has a new wife and son. *sighs* Hope you caught all that.

Now, my first problem with the movie is the fact that Tyler had to make Lance’s character extremely weak and boring. There is a part where Lance and Jurnee are walking to their car and a group of guys are checking her out and the guy calls her a bitch. Jurnee stands up for herself but Lance forces her in the car and doesn’t defend her, which she later expresses to him. Now, most guys would not have just let that slide and women do like to feel protected by their mate. But then Lance forgets her birthday. How over the top! I would have loved for Lance to just have been a regular guy who did the things that he normally does and not forgot birthday’s or didn’t defend her. You do not have to be an asshole for someone to fall out of love with you. Sometimes it just happens.

My second problem with the movie is the temptation part. Yes, I can admit that if you are in a boring marriage and a man comes around and is talking about the different ways he wants to make love to you, it can be quite tempting. But at what time did this man tempt her enough to where she decides to leave her husband and do drugs? I mean she just snorted the stuff like it was nothing! She did it with such ease that I actually thought I was tripping until she did it the second time. So not only is she feeling taken for granted in her marriage and having an affair, she is also a drug addict.

My third problem is the whole church aspect. I cannot stand when Tyler involves the church as the only way to solve a problem. If your shirt’s on fire, call on the Lord. If your leg is chopped off, call on the Lord. If a zombie bit you, call on the Lord. Like, really? Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a firm believer in God, but I also do not believe that just because Jurnee was not going to church every Sunday and calling her Reverend mom every morning for prayer makes her a bad person or made her have this affair. It had nothing to do with that. She had the affair because she was not happy in her relationship and was not used to anything new. This had nothing to do with God. There was no need for all the church extra and the woman praying in her house like the devil was in her daughter. Yes, she was going through something, but did anyone ever take the time to just talk to her? Maybe that would have solved a lot of things.

My last problem was the ending. I literally walked out on the end because I was so irritated. The movie ends with a much older Jurnee walking into the pharmacy that Lance owns and getting her medicine. Brandy hugs her(why was Brandy looking the exact same age and everyone else was looking old?) and she gets the medicine and Lance asks her if she has plans. She says I’m going to church. Then Lance’s new wife and son walk in, they wave at Jurnee like a stranger and that was that. WTF?? Why does her life have to be so bland because of her one mistake? I don’t care about them breaking up because she did cheat on him, but can’t she also have a fulfilling life? Is she doom to a life of looking like an old grandmother and being alone all because she didn’t stay “prayed up” and had an affair? This is not real life! Also at the end, Jurnee is talking to a client who is thinking about having an affair and after hearing her story the lady says she will end the affair and stay with her husband. Smh. That is not the answer. Yes, end the affair before it happens, but don’t decide to stay with your husband because you heard about the scary HIV story. You are still going to be miserable in the end.

Basically what I got out of this movie is who cares if you are miserable in your relationship. You stay in that relationship and stay in the church and if you don’t you will become a drug addict with HIV. I may be a little dramatic but that’s what happened in a nut shell. Tyler could’ve really did something with this movie to help people out. So many people are in relationships and they feel stuck. They love that person but it’s all they know. They don’t know what to do with those feelings that come about when someone else shows them something new and they fall for it. Instead of talking it out, they have an affair. You can’t scare people into not doing something. There should have been some communication that took place, some type of counseling. Hell, it’s called Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, but why didn’t she counsel herself? This movie just basically set us back relationship wise. Instead of opening up about those feelings, just bury them and stay miserable. Stay in a relationship that has you feeling like you are living with your roommate. Stay in a relationship where you are rolling your eyes every time they open their mouth. Stay in a relationship that is passionless. Yes, just stay in that relationship and stay in church because that’s the only way anything is going to get solved. Remember the Bible says, “Faith without works is dead.” So you can stay in the church all you want but if you don’t actively work towards something, it is pointless. And let me just say Kim Kardashian did an amazing job. She actually had me laughing in the movie. Kudos to her acting coach.