So there was a clip floating around on Twitter where a woman said that she could be dying on the side of the road and she would still not ask her child’s father for help. The men in the clip thought she was outrageous and couldn’t believe she was saying this. But after thinking about it…I understood completely where she was coming from.
Continue readingTag: Child support
Channing Smythe Responds to Questioning Behind Child Support Case
I earlier wrote about my feelings on Devon Still not paying child support and Channing Smythe trying to shine negative light on him about the situation. Well, who would have known that Channing Smythe is a fan of the site and would read my post! Taking to Instagram, Channing defended her decision on suing her child’s father for non child support payments.
While I understand where Channing is coming from, my views are still the same. This is still a man that is doing something financially and is a very active participant in his life. Even if she feels the need to get some type of support, why not do this off the record? Why bring the media into this? Once again, I am not in her situation but I definitely know there are better ways to go about this. What are your thoughts?
Photo courtesy of: IG: iamjeaninenicole IG: Carmen_soprano
Why I Believe Devon Still Should Not Be Paying Child Support
We all know the beautiful story of NFL player Devon Still and his daughter Leah. Leah, who has been fighting cancer, and her dad, who was cut from the Bengals because he was constantly with his daughter and not at football camp, but was later reinstated so that he would be able to keep his salary and his daughter would be insured, have been the talk of the NFL for months now. Well, now it seems that the mother of his child and ex, Channing Smythe, has hired lawyer, Gloria Allred, to take the case of him not paying child support. He is apparently 4 months behind and has said he will not pay her anything until they have their day in court. Now, those are the facts. Here is my opinion. Devon Still is, obviously, an amazing father. Channing does not even dispute this. He goes back and forth from Cincinnati to Delaware, where she lives, to see his daughter weekly. He is there for her at majority, if not all, of her hospital visits and surgeries. He has brought awareness and raised millions for pediatric cancer groups. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO PETTY???? This is coming from a single mother who has her kid’s fathers on child support. I vowed I would never put my kid’s fathers on child support if they were actively in their lives and making some type of financial effort. This man lost his job because he cared more about his daughter than his career. He was reinstated and her medical bills are covered. Let me say that again for the ones in the back. HER MEDICAL BILLS ARE COVERED!!!!!!!!!!!! What more do you need?
I am going to take it there and I could care less what anyone says or thinks. This woman is being petty and lazy. Yes, you are not able to work a normal job because your daughter needs full care. How about a work from home job? Hire a nurse to help you and work from home in the middle of the night while Leah is sleep. It’s not impossible. I am doing it in a room…A ROOM…with my two children. Just because you cannot get out and work a normal 9-5 does not mean you cannot bring income into your household to take care of your child. Channing continues to say that she has to go on food stamps to provide food for her child. And? If that is what you have to do, then that is what you have to do. This is the role of a parent. You sacrifice for your children. It is life. You don’t want it to be this way then YOU make it better. If you are unable to take care of this child the way that you claim you cannot then give him custody until you get back on your feet. Why has that not been brought up?
The issue that I am having is that I see it as Channing being a little bitter because Devon is engaged to a new woman and supposedly Channing is pregnant by a man who is not around in her life. -_- We as women have all been there and been hit by the bitter bug. Where you wanted to drag your ex through the mud no matter what! You cannot do this when a man is actually involved in your child’s life and is legitimately helping her. Yes, I know love does not pay the bills but dammit her medical bills are being covered and honestly, that is all I would care about. Do you know how many women are out here taking care of hospital bound children alone…on their own…no help financially…and they are still making it! Sometimes you have to stop with the damn pity party and look at yourself in the mirror. Do you know how lucky she is to have her child’s father in his daughter’s life? Willing to lose it all for her? And you are ready to get him fired over child support??? If he loses his job, who is going to pay those medical bills then?
This is not to say that child support is not important, because it is. But there are various ways to give child support. I do not believe in dumping everything on the man…especially doing it just because he makes a lot of money. Would Channing be doing this if Devon worked at McDonalds? Is this really about child support or is it about parent support? Because Leah is obviously being supported by her father, so who is this money really for? I would have more respect for Channing if she did this off the records and not in the media. Especially with the way the NFL is targeting African American players with any issue that comes along. If Devon gets negative attention, he will lose his job and who will suffer the most in the end? Leah. She is all that matters in this. The smile that comes across her face when she sees that man is worth more than any check should be. It’s sad that Channing doesn’t see this. It’s sad that a lot of these women don’t see this. Looking from my eyes, I would gladly give up my child support that I barely get for my boys to have a real connection with their father. To not have to go through bullshit every time you see them. For them to genuinely love their child. Channing you are truly misguided and I pray that you think about your daughter in this situation and not yourself.
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Weekend Dads AKA Deadbeats
A few weeks ago there was an interesting discussion on Twitter about men who only get their kids on the weekends. One guy argued that he was the best father in the world even though he only gets his son on the weekends. He then went on to say that he doesn’t think it is fair that his baby mama gets to collect child support and live off of him while he is in his child’s life. There were a few comments that were said back to him that got me to wondering. Why do “weekend dads” think they are God’s gift to their baby mama’s? Yes, we are grateful that you are spending time with your child, but please do not act like we should be running out to get you a “Number 1 dad” mug. Let me break it down so you can see why “weekend dads” are really the new term for deadbeats.
1. You only get them on the weekend. How does this make you an amazing parent? In my case, I have to work a fulltime job, come home and cook and clean, plus take my son to therapy every week. What do you do? You watch him run around and play for two days straight. Big whoop! If you are only involved in your kids lives Friday evening till Sunday morning, you are a deadbeat. There is no reason why you should not be participating in weekly activities or even calling to talk to your child. The guy on Twitter said that his baby mama only wanted him to see the kids on the weekend so she can go out and party with his child support. Now, I will get to the child support in my next point, but let’s address that first part. She is letting you keep the kids on the weekend so she can go out and party? Really? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she needs a break from her busy week of taking care of your child alone? Even if she is out partying, this is well deserved as seeing that Mon-Friday, you might as well not even have a child. You can come and go as you please, while she can’t even go to the grocery store without having to go through an ordeal. This is the one thing I hate that men do. They act like it is okay for them to go without responsibility all week, but when it comes to the weekend she’s a bad mom because she wants two days off. Get outta here.
2. Child support. This is the biggest pet peeve I have when it comes to taking care of a child and what men think. First, let me state that no woman, and I mean NO WOMAN, is living off of child support. Unless you are Kanye or Jay, those little child support payments do nothing for a woman in today’s society. I have two kids. I get a total of $130 for one and $350 for the other a month. That is a total of $480. My rent is $554, daycare is $140 a week, who is living off child support? Please! Men want to call us money hungry when we go through child support, but in actuality if you were doing what you were suppose to do, half of us would not even fool with child support. If I knew that I could call and say, “Hey, so and so needs some new uniform pants?” and I would get in return, “No problem,” then why would I file? But when you get BS every time your child needs something and you need help, you go with the only thing that you know will at least give you some type of assistance. Even though it is not enough. I once had my son’s father tell me that he would not help me with any of my bills because I choose to leave him. Those bills were my fault. Really? But your child is with me, full time. This is why child support was put in place. Now, I will say that some women use their child support for themselves and do nothing for the child. But this type of behavior is evident while you and the mother were dating. If you saw that she was no good while y’all were dating, please don’t act surprise when you see her in a new pair of Js and your child is rocking a pair of shoes too small. You knew she was a rat when you were dating. I’m just saying.
Now, before you go crazy, no, all weekend dads are not deadbeats. Some actually work hard and can only see their children on the weekends. But there is a big difference between not being able to see your children and not wanting to see your children. My biggest reason for writing this post was that single mothers d0 not get the credit that they deserve. Well, single parents, there are some excellent single fathers out there who fall into this category as well. We do not get the credit that we deserve. Instead, we have to stay strong and muster up whatever strength we have and take care of our children while the other party gets to sit around and do nothing, and then when the weekend comes, it’s their turn to do nothing again. When you deal with a child one on one for weeks on end, 24/7, then come and talk to me “weekend dads”. Right now, I just have no sympathy for you guys.
I am Jeanine Nicole 