Tag: empowerment

The Girl Who Stood Alone

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You see that smile
One of my greatest feats yet
Smiling through pain
Over 20 years in and still
Going
You see the girl behind that smile
No one wants to meet
No one cares about
That girl is everyone’s plan b
Put on the back burner
Time and time again.
You see everyone loves
That smile she carries
But no one knows of the pain behind it.
The sadness. The hurt. The
Longing for this life to be over.
What’s the point of living to be disappointed day in and day out?
What’s the point of living to constantly be rejected?
But she can’t let anyone see this.
She has to keep that forced front up.
That hardness…that shell.
Happiness evades her…but sadness overwhelms.
Tears come easy while laughs are forced.
Often alone…the darkness is her friend.
But when it’s time to go out, the show begins.
Makeup to cover the scars of rejection,
Lipstick to cover the anguish of heartbreak.
Foundation to cover a face to unfamiliar for her.
In the light, she is joyful…witty
But if they only knew the girl behind that smile.
A girl that only herself can confront…comfort on brinks of breakdowns.
A girl that carries the weight of her world on her own shoulders.
But no one cares.
That smile…so beautiful and bright…
But only if you could see her at night.

Single Moms Are T-shirts

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After writing the “Single Moms Are…” post I decided to create a t-shirt to further enforce my message. I want all single mothers to feel that they are strong individuals and not those derogatory words that were pulled up in the search. We have to be the change that we want to see and with that more positivity needs to be put out there about what single mothers really are. You can purchase the t-shirt at http://www.teespring.com/single-moms-are.

Refocus

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“You’re becoming the woman you’ve always despised. Please stop.”

This was the text message that he sent me. I was on the phone having, yet another, Dr. Phil session with my best friend. I think he was fed up with my foolishness and finally decided to let me have it. It was funny because as soon as I read those words something instantly clicked inside of me. I understood exactly what he meant. I had become that woman. That woman who complained about her guy every two seconds but constantly went back to him. That woman who allowed someone else to fully take over their emotions and control their mood. That woman who constantly let them back in and made excuses for their actions. That woman who contemplated being the other woman just for a moment of happiness. I was that woman. The woman I hated…laughed at…felt sorry for. I was her. This instantly made me realize that something had to change. But for it to change, I had to realize how I became that woman so that I would never become her again.

If you follow me on social media, you probably have seen the ups and downs that my ex and I have gone through. Finally, on my own, the unthinkable happened. I became pregnant. I was back in his grasp again. Even with him being totally against it, I was still connected, in some way to him and he was okay with that. I was still there for him, sexually and financially and most important, emotionally. We were there for each other. But, fate would happen and I had a miscarriage. As hurt as I was, and still am, I saw this as a new lease on life. I was ready to get back out there and live again. But, it was hard. I mean, I loved this man and he was one of my closest friends. He was one of those people that I hated but when he came around we always had an amazing time. It was something I wasn’t ready to give up. When my friend gave me the advice he gave me, it made me look at our situation in a different light. I don’t have to give up my friendship with him. We can still hang out and be there for each other, BUT I needed to stop with the dependency. I have never…NEVER NEVER NEVER…. been a dependent woman. I had my own place at 18, single mother at 20…I have never needed a man for anything, except one thing, and that was it. I was the type to have my fun and live my life. Never dependent on a man to give me happiness and fulfillment. My friend saw the opposite happening and this is why he said what he said. I was completely losing myself.

With that being said, there is nothing like liberation. Liberation is the act of setting someone free from imprisonment, slavery, or oppression. This feeling is amplified when you liberate yourself. When you free yourself from all the bullshit and the lies. When you are able to look at yourself and be completely honest. Yes, you were that woman…that stupid, dumb ass, woman. Yes, you were in love…that’s okay, but you cannot be her right now. You cannot have that life right now. You cannot have the relationship and the additional kids and the “Suzy Homemaker” lifestyle. It’s okay. It’s not time for that. It is time to live! It is time to get to know other people and go places and explore this world. I used to harp on the friendships that I have lost over the years, but then I realized that God is just making space for new people. Doesn’t mean those friends were not important to me at the time, but they are not important or necessary for this new process of my life. AND THAT IS OKAY. Too often do we equate moving on to never caring. It is not true. I can move on from my ex and that does not mean that those feelings were not real. It means that I am recognizing that there is nothing there, I deserve better, and I am moving on. Staying stagnant is pretty much death in my eyes because you are not living life. You are just there…taking up space. Staying stagnant will kill you. I was not put here for that. I will be 30 in two years…please someone call the old folks home and set me up a room. I refuse to be in this same place at that age. I know others always say your 30s are when you start coming into your career…no fuck that(excuse the harshness)! I have known what I wanted to do since the age of 5…5!!! There is no excuse for me not being exactly where I want to be by that age. The problem is focusing on the wrong things. Focusing on the life that I keep trying to give myself that is not for me. My life was never meant to be mediocre. I refuse to turn into that woman again and try to make it. I am liberating myself of that mental state. I vow to only live in the moment. To only live for what’s right in front of me. To only focus on my life, my family, my career. This is what I will put my energy into. The extra will come and go, but it will not dictate my happiness and my focus. It is time to stop giving yourself to everyone else and give yourself to you. You are the only one who is living your life. No one else. Do what brings you joy and prosperity and say FUCK YOU to everyone else that brings otherwise. At the end of the day, your life is your own. Make it what YOU want.

Monday’s Empowerment Spotlight: Peris Morgan and “The New Black”

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I am pledging to continue to bring more positive representation of our people to the media. In doing so, I will be highlighting different brands and organizations that are trying to do the same. In times like these, it is better for us to stick together and continue to support our brands. It is up to us to spread the news and empower our community. With that being said, I am shining a spotlight on Peris Morgan, Founder of “The New Black.” This organization is all about uplifting and empowering Black women and it is something that we all need to get behind.

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1. Tell us a little about yourself and your company.

Well, my name is Peris Morgan. Im a 25 year old single mother with strong opinions and a lot of ambition. I founded the organization titled, “The New Black,” which is an organization all about uplifting and empowering women. I’m starting off with a blog to reach a broader audience and to introduce the brand as a whole.
 2. Why did you create this company and what are your goals?
I felt as if women were so separated and were lacking support from one another and unity. I wanted to change that. I want to change that. There was a time when women uplifted one another and were not intimidated by another woman’s success and I plan to bring that back into modern times. My overall goal is to get women to rejoice in womanhood and to start to love and support one another.
 3. What projects are you currently working on?
Starting January 1, 2015, I am launching my first campaign titled, “I Am Pro Sisterhood”. It’s purpose is to encourage bonding, unity, and support amongst women and young girls.  I’ll also be promoting a lot of female entrepreneurs throughout my campaign. Following the Launch, I’ll be hosting a series of events that will help us women expand our brands and lives starting in 2015;  so be on the look out for that.
 4. How will your company help to push our goal of bringing more positive images to the media?
The media today lacks a positive image of women, especially women of color.  It’s like, who do we have to be our inspiration , our role models?  They portray women in such a negative light and it’s unfortunate because there are a lot of women doing great things . There are a lot of women running successful companies;  a lot of educated prominent women. There are women that I personally admire and look up to that I don’t think get enough exposure and acknowledgement. Part of the reason I started this company was to show those women.  I want to show the life coaches,  the working mothers, the lawyers,  doctors,  philanthropist,  and entrepreneurs, but to put that in a nutshell my company is to acknowledge the ROLE MODELS.
 5. Do you think there is enough positive representation of Black people in the media? Is this a problem?
As far as there being a positive image of black people in the media it’s like a 60 /40 percentage.  It’s a lot that isn’t shown as far as black ppl as a whole, not just women. We have so many positive people in our community who do uplift our people.
 6. Why does representation matter to you?
We have a lot of black professors and corporate figures, which really did amaze me and they play the back burner in the media. We have more success stories in the black community besides entertainers. Not to take anything away from the entertainers, but I feel that if that’s all we, as a people, are portrayed as then that’s all the following generation will associate success with and they’ll limit their options.  Because you’re either an entertainer or a criminal. That’s how they portray us in the media. . . And it’s more to our people than that, in my opinion.
 7. How can people contact you for more information on your company?
People can get more information on my company by just simply following my blog via Instagram @thenewblack_ig.  Very simple lol.
 8. If you had an unlimited budget for your company, what would be the three things you would spend it on?
  • If I  had an unlimited budget for my company I would first off go on a tour hosting events to spread unity amongst women on a broader spectrum.
  • I would create a charity for resources for single mothers because I feel that there isn’t enough resources for them/us.
  • And lastly, I would invest in more promotion to build awareness of my brand.

Photo Courtesy: Peris Morgan