Why Are Side Chicks The New Wave?

Is it me or has the side chick seemingly become a normal thing now? Once a taboo subject, side chicks are now a part of everyday conversations. It seems like everyone has either had a side chick, has a side chick, or is a side chick. Why is that? I, personally, blame entertainment. From music to the media, side chicks are no longer that scandalous woman that everyone hates. She is actually becoming, dare I say it, a role model to a lot of women. I know that sounds crazy but really think about it. With shows like Scandal and Being Mary Jane, the side chick is seen as a powerful woman, not sure why they always have to be African American but that’s another post, who has her priorities straight. She is an independent woman who just happens to be madly in love with a married man. And what do we do? Instead of hating her we actually side with her. Come on, we all want Olivia and Fitz to be together, but the facts are he is a married man. Always was.

I believe this new wave of interest with side chicks is definitely because of the entertainment industry. People, unfortunately, like to imitate art. They see the woman being splurged on and having this secret, wild sex life and they want that. They think it’s okay because somehow society has accepted the side chick. They see that the relationship between the actual couple is shitty so they feel that the side chick is justified. In what world is cheating okay? When did it become acceptable to be a side chick? Are we, as women…wait let me say are yall, cause Im not with it, as women okay with just being the side chick? Are you okay with sharing someone else’s man? Being second even if he makes you feel like you are first? I’m starting to believe that society is delusional. You do understand that a side chick is just that right? Yes, these side chicks on tv seem to be living it up but that is not real life. In real life you are always going to be that back up chick that he goes to. The one he goes to for one thing and one thing only. How can that make you feel special?

And why are we glamorizing this? If I see one more tv show or hear one more song about a side chick I swear I’m going to lose it. I think the thing that kills me the most is that women are falling for that bs. If you listen to the song, “They Don’t Know,” by some loser, he is talking about his side chick that no one knows about. He describes her as being perfect and down because she doesn’t make a fuss about being on the side. She just complies. Hell, she doesn’t even like his Instagram pictures (line from the song)! The way he describes her reminds me of how guys describe a ride or die chick and females love those type of qualities. I can picture a girl now like, “Oh, yeah baby. I can be down like that. I won’t let anybody know. Even if we in the same room, I can keep cool. Cause I’m down like that and I know that’s how you like it.” Trust me. There are women who think like this. They are comfortable being the side chick because the man wants it. They aren’t thinking about their own feelings or wants. They are just settling because it’s the thing to do now.

I will never understand when and how side chicks became cool. Anyone who knows me or has read my posts knows that I don’t understand cheating. If you are that unhappy, then leave. If you find someone else that you are attracted to and want to take to that level, open your mouth and say something to your partner. Having a side chick is a sign of weakness to me. You are too weak to be open about your feelings with your partner. Or too weak to be able to commit to an actual relationship. As women, I would think we would have more respect for ourselves than to allow the whole side chick thing to actually happen. At the end of the day, it starts with us. These men aren’t holding guns to these women’s heads. They are willingly participating AND bragging about it. If we could put our foots down and say that we will not stand for certain things, they would stop instantly. Women have so much power and it sickens me to see us not use it. We, y’all, just sit back and go with the flow and let these men do any and every thing. The worst part is the women who actually stand for something get the short end of the stick because as soon as we say we aren’t down with something, a man will say “Well, I know a chick that will.” It’s sad and we have to do better. Side chicks are not trendy or cool. They are disrespectful and degrading. Stop calling shit gold and call it what it is.

Taking a Break: The New Way to Cheat and Get Away With It

Okay, we all know about that dreaded time in a relationship when you just can’t stand the person that you are with. What used to be sweet and cute is now so annoying that you contemplate killing them in their sleep just to have a way out. You love them, but you just can’t stand them. You feel trapped and you are slowly losing yourself in the process. So, what do you do? You take a break. A break which means that you just need some time to yourself to get everything in order. Time to figure things out. “I still love you babe, but I just need some time to make sure this is right.” Now, during this time of immense self finding, when did it become the norm to somehow slip up and get someone pregnant? As we have seen recently from Dwyane Wade and Ludacris, this “break” is becoming a lot more serious then what it used to be. Normally, a break would last a few days in which you and your significant other would make up and be back on track. But now it seems that this “break” is giving men free realm to just do whatever and come back with washed hands. “Baby, you can’t get mad that’s she’s pregnant. We was on a break.” -_-

Now, let’s discuss what should happen whilst on said “break”. The “break” is basically the action before the break up. Instead of just calling it off, the two agree to take a “break” from one another to clear their heads. Maybe they have been spending too much time together or maybe they are feeling unappreciated and need time apart to regain that love. Whatever the need is most “breaks” take place so both parties can decide if they should continue in the relationship or not. Because you are suppose to be focusing on the relationship, most women believe that dating other people during this time is not acceptable. You should be home, in bed, jotting down pros and cons to the relationship, not out bumping and grinding with some hot tender. I mean really if that’s what you want to do then isn’t the whole idea of a “break” just preposterous. Why not just break up? This is why I have never, fully, understood the idea of a “break”. To me, it’s pretty much over if you have to go that route.

But let’s say you take the “break” and you figure out that you can’t be with anyone else but that woman. She is your sun and earth and moon and blah blah blah. You get back together and everything is perfect. Well, except the fact that 9 months later you receive a phone call from that hot tender you were in the club with and you hear a baby crying in the background. (Dramatic, I know. But hey this is my story lol). Now, you have to explain to your sun and earth that while on this “break”, when you were suppose to be doing some self evaluating, you were actually partaking in some risky behavior. While this may be one of men’s worst nightmares, technically it shouldn’t be because you always have that ace in the hole. That “but we were on a break” excuse. TECHNICALLY, she can’t really be mad at you because you guys were not together. TECHNICALLY, you’ve done nothing wrong and she has no right to leave you because it did not happen while you were together. Men know this and I feel like it is about to take on another life of its own. Men know that women are emotional creatures and think irrationally when it comes to love. They know that while the woman has every right to be upset that if he continues to drill it in her head that they were on a “break” she will eventually forgive him because those are the rules. It has happened to the best of us. But what I don’t like is how women just pacify the men when this takes place. It’s like they feel more empowered for sticking with a man who has done them wrong. That’s that Ride or Die syndrome. “My girl got my back regardless of what I do” and she is in the background bobbing her head while feeding his two kids. I’m just saying, some things are just too much.

I, personally, couldn’t just let someone off the hook for getting a woman pregnant while we were on a “break.” Seeing that the whole idea of a “break” is to get clarification on your relationship, I’m not really sure I want to continue being with someone who thought they could find this clarification in between another woman’s legs. And then to be so irresponsible as to get them pregnant. That just makes it worst. Seems to me that they were not thinking of you nor the relationship during this “break” so what is the point of staying with them? My biggest hope is that women stop settling for so damn little. If he can’t respect you enough while you are on a “break” then why would he respect you in a relationship? Being on a “break” does not curve your feelings towards that person. It doesn’t make the love stop just because you guys aren’t technically together. It’s the same thing for those who are in long term relationships but are not married. You still do the same thing that a wife does. Those acts don’t change once you get a ring. There is just a title that comes with it.

My advice to those out there is if you need a “break”, just break up. Or be prepared to take care of someone else’s baby because yall know this is a celebrity trend that is going to spread. “Aww, baby Dwyane did it and look at what Gabby did. She took him back with a smile. If they can make it work, I know we can.” -_-