To My Future Husband

I often wonder what you are up to.
If you are chillin, sitting back watching the latest game.
Are you laid out with some chick riding you, screaming your name?
Did you finally get that place you keep going to see?
Or are you tired of waiting on little ole me?
Waiting on me…our paths to align.
Waiting quietly for pain to heal in time.
Do you still believe in my existence or are you feeling like you missed it?
Missed out on your opportunity for true love.
Do you feel like you’ve missed out on what everyone else has?
Because your future wife is still here stuck in the past.
Stuck in turmoil, trying to erase old hurt.
Working to find again her happiness and her own self worth.
Because of this path that she of course must take.
Does it hinder your belief in having such a fate?
Do you believe she’s still out there?
Waiting for you?
Or do you keep fucking random women just because they’ll do?
Future husband, please don’t give up on me.
That beautiful future can be ours you see.
But for now, this path…right here is clear.
A path to find my own beauty and truth.
The path that is preparing me for you.
I apologize if I take a few wrong turns…
Leaving you in the dark to yearn.
Yearn for your beautiful black queen that God has promised you.
Yearn for those amazing children to pass your heritage to.
Yearn for the deepest connection you’ve ever felt.
Yearn for her soft kisses that instantly make you melt.
I know how hard this must be for you.
Trust me it’s not something I want to do.
But this path…this long, stressful, tedious, lonely path is my only way to you.
It’s the only way I can become the wife that God has ordained me to.
So my husband, please stay with me and stay strong.
I’ve just turned on this road and I pray it shall not be long.