Somehow this year, I’ve allowed myself to become more depressed than I’d like to admit. I’m used to dealing with my depression in various ways. I shut down, I cry, I throw myself into a project, I smoke, I drink, sometimes I’ll write, listen to music, watch a few episodes of Drag Race and be okay. But lately…I’ll do all these things and the end result is still sadness. Well sadness isn’t really the word. It’s more emptiness and anger, which I’ll break down.Continue reading
Single Moms Are T-shirts
After writing the “Single Moms Are…” post I decided to create a t-shirt to further enforce my message. I want all single mothers to feel that they are strong individuals and not those derogatory words that were pulled up in the search. We have to be the change that we want to see and with that more positivity needs to be put out there about what single mothers really are. You can purchase the t-shirt at http://www.teespring.com/single-moms-are.
Single Moms Are…
So as I was googling some things for a homework assignment, I came across this search result on Google. The irony was I was actually doing a positive reinforcement image and decided to do one about single mothers and insert positive words on my PowerPoint slide. To my shock, this is what automatically popped up before I could finish typing into the search engine. I could not believe that there was this long list of horrible and very wrong descriptions of single mothers. I began to wonder why did single mothers get such a bad rep? Why were there so many hateful qualifiers being associated with such an amazing person? We’ve seen the memes that poke fun at single mothers being thots and always looking for fun, staying out late, and being with every Tom, Dick, and Jamal, but why, or rather, where did these thoughts originate?
When I think of single mothers, I think of the strongest creatures on this earth. They are the only people that I can think of that truly have to do EVERYTHING on their own. They have to sacrifice every ounce of mental, physical, and emotional well being on a daily basis. There is not a moment where a single mother can throw her hands in the air and say, “I’m done.” This is just not a doable option in this type of situation. When it comes to finances, single mothers are not able to say, “Shiiiiiitttt, I ain’t got it bruh,” when their child is in need of something. When they are sick, there are no sick days in parenting, so life has to continue. Food still has to be cooked. House still has to be cleaned. Clothes still need to be sorted, washed, dried, folded, and put away. (I hate you, you evil despicable laundry). Homework has to be checked. Baths given. You get my drift. AND THIS IS EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Add in work, school, and any attempt at a social/dating life and it’s a wonder that single mothers are not given a mandatory prescription for Xanax.
We do all of this with ease as if it was in our DNA. There are single mothers who have been doing it for their child’s whole lives and their children are extremely successful as are they. There are single mothers who juggle it all so well despite the hardships that they come by on a daily basis. No one looks at this. When you have a two parent home, it is so much easier to do the simplest things. You have someone there to help out when you need it. This is not available to a single mother. Regardless of how you may feel that day, you have to be on at all times because you are parenting and providing for another life. You want this person to be a successful and productive citizen, so failure is not an option for you. I never understand how someone can look down on someone who has to endure all of this and continues to push on. How about some encouragement? Some love and kindness, because I am sure no one is telling them how great of a job they are doing. No one is uplifting them and letting them know that they are appreciated. Instead, we are torn down because of a decision that the other irresponsible party has made. We are made fun of because we decided to stick it out and parent our children.
My number one goal is to always uplift anyone in any way that I can. Single mothers are a sore spot for me because I am living that life. No one knows how hard this is and despite what so many people think, we don’t choose this life at all. We don’t enter relationships with knowledge that our partner will be a deadbeat and leave. We don’t sleep with men hoping to cash out on that $72.47 a month child support check. We are not easy. We are not selfish. We are not disgusting. We are not hateful. We are AMAZING. We are BEAUTIFUL. We are INTELLIGENT. We are CEOS. We are TALENTED. We are simply the shit. If you know a single mother, tell her how proud you are of her. Tell her she is great. Uplift these women because they are raising the kids of the future. We pour so much of ourselves into these little beings with no expectation of anything in return. Be that support system and inspire them because it is much needed. To my single mothers, if no one else tells you(and even if they do tell you) I love you. I am amazed at your strength. Your resilience allows me to continue on. You are not alone. You are appreciated.