Tag: Twitter

How To Face A Break Up Via Social Media

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So, it’s happened. The unthinkable. That beautiful, funny, perfect relationship you were just tweeting about last weekend is over. Oh no! What now?? How do you save face when you just posted a million kissy face pictures with you and your ex boo? I mean, now you have to go and hang your head and let the world now that you have failed again and love don’t live here anymore. But, you don’t want to look like a fool. Here are a few tips to help you successfully survive a break up via social media. FYI, I should have taken my own advice this week…but eh.

1. Step Away From the Meme’s!

Okay, I know how you feel. You are ready to let the world know that you are a good woman and you can hold your man down and you saw the perfect meme for it, but…no. Just no. First, you have to ease your way into letting everyone know you are single again. Bombarding your IG with hateful, yet witty memes may seem like the best way to go, but trust me you will end up looking a little crazy. Also, it will be a bit of an overload. Could you imagine seeing this on your TL?

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Yeah, psycho! Lol

2. Only One Post is Needed.

You don’t have to constantly talk about your current break up. The less, the better. This saves you on looking crazy and also not getting any backlash. You don’t want every status to be, “F#$% that! I don’t need a man. I got me! I been doing this since day one! You think I need you? Tuh”, “Looks like my weekends are free now! Who wants to take me somewhere? Y’all know I’m free right?”, “Every time I put myself out there, somebody screws me over. Love just isn’t meant for me.” Oh and my favorite, “F*&% this cheating ass bastard! Tell that b&#@# to pay that phone bill!” Lol sorry, that last one may have been a little bit too much of me. But, seriously, just one general post or even just a single…”*sits at the Singles Table* Welcome back” is pretty much all you need. Remember, he is probably following you and one simple comment on a crazy post will send you spiraling. Don’t give him or anyone else any ammunition.

3. Okay, You Aren’t THAT Busy Now

Last, I really hate to see people who did absolutely nothing, socially, before now become a socialite. Come on. Truthfully, you are just at home watching Netflix AND THAT’S OKAY! Acting like you are having lunch dates and dinner dates and after work dates and inbetween nap dates is just ridiculous. This is not making the other person miss you and it is making you look stupid. Just resume to your normal behavior. It’s just less one.

Now, as stated before, I should have followed my own advice. I mean, I didn’t go crazy, but I did do all of these things lol. Well, except the last one, because I really don’t have a life so I can’t even fake that. But I posted a few memes and I did a few posts, mostly sappy song lyrics, but luckily I didn’t get too extreme. The point is so many people say you should keep your relationships off of social media and it’s because of this very reason. You don’t want to look stupid once you’ve broken up. But reality is no one expects to break up. If you are in something that is good and makes you happy, you want to share it with the world. And when you are in pain and hurt, you want to show that as well. But, with this situation, less is the better way to go. A simple relationship status change is all that is needed. All the other stuff is just extra and unnecessary. You don’t want the whole world in your business. Remove your pictures, unfollow, and move on gracefully. This will be unentertaining and catch no one’s eye. Social media is all about the show. The smoke and fire. If you don’t give them anything, they will pass you by and go to the next crazy person posting about their ex.

Sexting: The New Form of Dating? Would You or Wouldn’t You?

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sexting

So we all know, by now, what sexting is. If not there is the definition above. (Not really sure who is sending out sexual pics on that old ass phone but hey do you!) Anyways, like I said we all know what sexting is and I am sure we have all taken part in the act. Whether it was innocent flirting or straight raunchy, nasty, “you better make sure you send to the right person” type of messages, but we have all done it. Now, my question is when did this become the new form of dating? Seriously, think about it. Speaking from my own experience, like always, I have never received so many unsolicited peen pics in life! And this isn’t after a date or two, this is mid first day conversation. “Good morning. WYD?” “Nothing. Bout to let one go. Wanna watch?” 0_0 It really happens just like that. Not really sure if you guys think that’s a turn on, but it’s not. Especially if we just met. But what gives guys this courage to just be that bold? Is sexting just a normal thing now that takes place between strangers? Is sending nudes the new “check yes or no if you like me” type of thing?

I really blame social media for making sexting such a normal thing. And before I start let me say that I am not against sexting. I think that it is a great thing to be done between couples or significant others. It’s the random people that weirds me out. Now back to social media. You get on Twitter and you will see nudes probably before you see anything else. Whether it is someone who found out their dude was cheating so they leaked their nudes or if someone is trying to prove that they are sleeping with someone else’s girl so they leak their nudes. The fact that nudes can be leaked alone should be more than enough reason to not send them to any random person. But since it seems like it is so abundant on social media, it looks like everyone is sending nudes, so why not? Maybe this is where guys get that boldness from. They figure everyone else is doing it so hey let me do it too. It’s just a peen pic, right? Who really cares, right?

Now, like I said, I don’t see anything wrong with doing this if it is with one person or your significant other, but there has to be some type of rules that take place before sending an actual nude, right?

1. Is this person trustworthy enough to not leak your pics to the whole world?

This is huge! We see it all day long on social media where someone leaks someone else’s nudes. Do you want to be that person? Is it worth it? How can you tell if the person is trustworthy? This is where actual dating should take place. Conversation. You are able to feel someone out if you have a simple conversation with them. And really if you have to ask yourself if they are trustworthy then should you really be sexting them?

2. Time limit.

There should be some kind of time limit before you spread eagle and start using filters. Yes, you may have an occasional drunk night, but seriously you should at least know this person for some time and have conversed back and forth with them before they see the goods. Take it as serious as you would with actual sex.

3. Even Exchange.

This is simple. You should not be the only one sending, you should also be receiving. This will also help you with finding out if they are trustworthy.

I have a ton of other, goofy rules, but I’ll keep those inside for now lol.

Sexting, for this generation, is definitely the new form of dating. When you think about it, how many times throughout the day do you actually talk on the phone? Hold verbal conversations? Now, how many texts have you sent? See the difference?  The fact that texting, alone, is becoming more prevalent in dating than actually talking on the phone you can see why sexting is on the rise. It’s kind of like when phone sex was a big thing and now everyone has just taken a more technical approach. But even though it may be the new norm, it still should be some boundaries set in place. Don’t just send random nudes or messages to someone you just met. It may seem like fun, but after you press send, you can’t really get that back. We’ve all done stupid things, but the continuation of stupidity starts to become ridiculous. Plus, we are older now. Sext with your boyfriend, but no strangers. And men. Please! PLEASE!!! Stop sending peen pics unless your lady asks for one. It really does not have the affect that you think it does on us. Ijs.

Photo credit: www.observer.com

Where Do We Go From Here?

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isThis case is one of those cases that will forever be remembered. It’s like our generation’s “Rodney King”. George Zimmerman was found not guilty of killing Trayvon Martin. A young black teenager who was simply walking to the store, buying snacks in a hoodie. After the advice of the police, Zimmerman decided to take the law into his own hands and approach Martin. And we know how it ends. This verdict has me feeling numb, especially as a parent. What do I say to my two young black boys? How do I prevent this from happening to them? I was raised to believe that everyone is equal and should be treated as such. You do your best in life and God will reward you. But somehow as I get older, I see that this is starting to change. You can’t just be educated and Black in America and expect to be treated as an equal. This has been proven over and over again.

After the verdict was given, I saw a lot of posts saying that it is in God’s hands and there was nothing we could do. I could not believe that people were actually saying this. And then I saw this post

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If that wasn’t the truth right there. From the beginning of time, Blacks have always been told to take the higher road and trust in God for all these things. Now, yes. I believe that God has the final say and my faith in him is as strong as ever, but I do also believe strongly in the verse, “Faith without works is dead.” I believe that God’s reason for prayer is for you to seek him and hear what action he wants you to do to solve your problem. No problem gets solved with you just sitting there. This is something people seem to not remember. Yes, you pray to God, but in that praying you should be seeking His answer. Once you hear it, you act. Sometimes God will tell you to just sit and wait, and other times he will give you instructions on how to make that situation better. Being complacent is what has society in this same situation time and time again. God sends us signals and if we keep ignoring them they are just going to get bigger and bigger. I hear a lot of people complaining that this much attention isn’t given to black on black crimes, but I would say to those people that this is probably a way for God to show those who didn’t pay attention to now see all the violence as a whole. People will begin to rally behind this case and in retrospect their efforts will trickle down and help these other crimes that go ignored.

I, personally, get upset when any type of crime is committed against an innocent person. The Casey Anthony trial had me up in arms. Wrongful killings of my classmates by police and other black men had me up in arms. But this case just made me doubtful. It made me doubt the judicial system. It made me doubt anyone who says that we are all equal. It made me doubt my decision to bring children into this world. Hell, it even made me doubt myself as a mother. But one thing it did do was awaken me. It opened my eyes to see the bigger picture. It opened my eyes to see that I was being complacent in my life. Depending on just my prayers to get me and my boys where we needed to be. Not truly taking any action to get myself closer to that goal. This case showed me that more work needs to be done and I have to put my time in as well. I owe it to my sons to be apart of this fight. So when they are older they can have a future to look to.

Our ancestors fought too hard for us to just let this slip through our fingertips. This is no different then the times that our grandparents lived in, except now there are trials but the outcome is always the same. We have to learn to stop being so complacent and actually stand up for something. Someone said yesterday that ‘what was the point of others respecting us when we don’t respect ourselves?’ This really made me think. With all the reality shows and twerking videos and World Star videos, why would they look at us as equals? Yes, we are not the only ones in these videos, but we are the majority when it comes to them. Instead of another race seeing us as intellectual beings and on the same playing field, they see women fighting over a sorry man, or chicks having a twerk off. Who would respect that? It’s too the point where I am starting to not respect half of the Black community because we sit back and allow this stupidity to continue. We want respect but we continue to degrade ourselves, continue to kill one another. Why would they respect us?

Yes this case is upsetting and no the verdict did not come as a shock and with saying that, that is the problem there. The fact that no one is surprised that Zimmerman, a white man, was allowed to go against police orders and stalk, attack, and kill Trayvon Martin, a black teen, and is able to go home free is very sad and it shows how complacent we have become with these types of situation. We can argue and curse and black out pictures and talk shit on Facebook and Twitter all day, but when it comes down to it, what are you really going to do? I know what my actions will be, but what are yours? Where do you go from here?

You can start in the fight to prevent this from happening to another innocent person by joining the Trayvon Martin Foundation, www.trayvonmartinfoundation.org. They will keep you abreast on peaceful rallys and ways that you can help to get certain laws, like “Stand Your Ground,” out of the system. My deepest sympathy and prayers go out to Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin for their loss. Their son’s death will not be in vain, in my eyes. Hoodies up, eyes open. R.I.P. Trayvon.